I wanted to send u something nice that would make u smile but the postman told me to get out of the mailbox!
----------------------------------------
im at the police station.The police caught me & filed a case against me "possession of good looks".i'm doomed! i need someone ugly 2 bail me out-so hurry up
----------------------------------------
Those innocent eyes.. such a brain...A great smile...The perfect walk..Smoothest talk...Absolutely gorgeous...Thats enough about me..How are you?
----------------------------------------
I wanted to tell you that I truly treasure our friendship- you mean a lot to me. You cry...I cry. You laugh..I laugh. You jump out of the window...I...I...I...look down and then I laugh again.
----------------------------------------
When you feel lonely, Cheer up! Just go to the mirror and say "Shit! I'm really so cute!" You'll overcome your sadness. But don't make it a habit cause liars go to HELL!
----------------------------------------
UR 100%beautiful UR 100%lovely UR 100%sweet? UR 100%nice??? and UR 100%stupid to believe these words!
----------------------------------------
Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in?
that's how dogs spend their lives.
----------------------------------------
We will now upgrade your brain.......Please wait........Searching.......Searching.......Still searching........Sorry, no brain found !!!
----------------------------------------
Your future depends on your dreams - So go to sleep!
----------------------------------------
In the morning I do not eat because I think of you, at noon I do not eat because I think
of you, in the evening I do not eat because I think of you, at night I do not sleep because
I am hungry.
----------------------------------------
Now Start sending to your friend........
Showing posts with label hummer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hummer. Show all posts
Monday, April 20, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
Nice jokes
Dumb monkey
Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it died.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was holding hands with the first monkey
why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
because it thought they were playing a game!
hahahahahahah
--------------------
How do you confuse a blonde girl?
Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner!
--------------------
In a bathroom in New York somewhere, if you tell a lie you disapear. A Brunette walks into the bathroom. "I am the Hottest girl in New York!" POOF she disappeared. A red headed girl walks into the bathroom. "I am the smartest girl in New York!!" POOF she disappeared. A blonde walks in the bathroom. "I Think..." POOF she disappears.
--------------------
Two blondes are waiting at a bus stop.
When a bus pulls up and opens the door, one of the blondes leans inside and asks the bus driver:'
'Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?'' The bus driver shakes his head and says,'
'No, I'm sorry.'
' At this the other blonde leans inside, smiles, and twitters: '
'Will it take ME ?'
--------------------
How do you make a blonde laugh on Friday?
Tell her a joke on Monday.
--------------------
Q: How can you steal the window seat of a blonde on a plane going to London?
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.
--------------------
Q: Why do blondes look up and smile at lightning?
A: They think someone is taking their picture.
--------------------
There was a blonde who was taking her kids to Disney Land. When they were about half way there, the blonde say a sign that said "Disney Land Left," so the blonde turned back around and went home.
--------------------
Q. What did the blonde say when she saw the banana peel on the floor?
A. Oh no, I'm going to fall again!
--------------------
Q. How can you tell that a blonde sent you a fax?
A. It has a stamp on it.
--------------------
Q. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
A. Their both empty from the neck up
--------------------
hehehe all for fun
Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it died.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was holding hands with the first monkey
why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
because it thought they were playing a game!
hahahahahahah
--------------------
How do you confuse a blonde girl?
Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner!
--------------------
In a bathroom in New York somewhere, if you tell a lie you disapear. A Brunette walks into the bathroom. "I am the Hottest girl in New York!" POOF she disappeared. A red headed girl walks into the bathroom. "I am the smartest girl in New York!!" POOF she disappeared. A blonde walks in the bathroom. "I Think..." POOF she disappears.
--------------------
Two blondes are waiting at a bus stop.
When a bus pulls up and opens the door, one of the blondes leans inside and asks the bus driver:'
'Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?'' The bus driver shakes his head and says,'
'No, I'm sorry.'
' At this the other blonde leans inside, smiles, and twitters: '
'Will it take ME ?'
--------------------
How do you make a blonde laugh on Friday?
Tell her a joke on Monday.
--------------------
Q: How can you steal the window seat of a blonde on a plane going to London?
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.
--------------------
Q: Why do blondes look up and smile at lightning?
A: They think someone is taking their picture.
--------------------
There was a blonde who was taking her kids to Disney Land. When they were about half way there, the blonde say a sign that said "Disney Land Left," so the blonde turned back around and went home.
--------------------
Q. What did the blonde say when she saw the banana peel on the floor?
A. Oh no, I'm going to fall again!
--------------------
Q. How can you tell that a blonde sent you a fax?
A. It has a stamp on it.
--------------------
Q. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
A. Their both empty from the neck up
--------------------
hehehe all for fun
Nice email i got
The Leave Applications; )
Infosys , Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:
"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife ,
please sanction me one-week leave."
--------------------
This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing
the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:
"as I want to shave my son's head , please leave me for two days.."
--------------------
Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was
performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter , please grant a week's leave.."
--------------------
From H.A.L. Administration Dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it
, please grant me 10 days leave."
--------------------
Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not
return , please grant me half day casual leave"
--------------------
An incident of a leave letter:
"I am suffering from fever , please declare one-day holiday."
--------------------
A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I
request you to leave me today"
--------------------
Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining , please grant me leave for the day."
--------------------
Covering note:
"I am enclosed herewith..."
--------------------
Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above , please refer to my below..."
--------------------
Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at
home I may be granted leave".
--------------------
Letter writing:-
"I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."
--------------------
A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and
an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past
several years and I can handle both with good experience , I am
applying for the post.
--------------------
hahaha
Infosys , Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:
"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife ,
please sanction me one-week leave."
--------------------
This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing
the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:
"as I want to shave my son's head , please leave me for two days.."
--------------------
Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was
performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter , please grant a week's leave.."
--------------------
From H.A.L. Administration Dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it
, please grant me 10 days leave."
--------------------
Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not
return , please grant me half day casual leave"
--------------------
An incident of a leave letter:
"I am suffering from fever , please declare one-day holiday."
--------------------
A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I
request you to leave me today"
--------------------
Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining , please grant me leave for the day."
--------------------
Covering note:
"I am enclosed herewith..."
--------------------
Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above , please refer to my below..."
--------------------
Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at
home I may be granted leave".
--------------------
Letter writing:-
"I am well here and hope you are also in the same well."
--------------------
A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and
an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both(!! )for the past
several years and I can handle both with good experience , I am
applying for the post.
--------------------
hahaha
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
husband wife jokes
A man bought a car on loan. He didn’t pay the dues, the bank took away his car.
Man: If I knew this, I’d have taken a loan for my marriage too!
--------------------
I see your face, when I am dreaming.
That's why I always, wake up screaming.
--------------------
Its funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arranged marriage"
It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" or "shoot himself".
--------------------
I bought my wife a new car.
She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor."
I asked her, "Where's the car?"
She replied,. In the lake."
--------------------
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,
"You know, I was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied,
"Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
--------------------
A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same: "You can have mine."
--------------------
Wife : Honey ...... What are You Looking for ? Husband : Nothing. Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ...??
Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.
--------------------
What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a positive side!
--------------------
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong
--------------------
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.
--------------------
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
--------------------
Man: If I knew this, I’d have taken a loan for my marriage too!
--------------------
I see your face, when I am dreaming.
That's why I always, wake up screaming.
--------------------
Its funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arranged marriage"
It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" or "shoot himself".
--------------------
I bought my wife a new car.
She called and said, "There was water in the carburetor."
I asked her, "Where's the car?"
She replied,. In the lake."
--------------------
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,
"You know, I was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied,
"Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
--------------------
A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same: "You can have mine."
--------------------
Wife : Honey ...... What are You Looking for ? Husband : Nothing. Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ...??
Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date.
--------------------
What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a positive side!
--------------------
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong
--------------------
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.
--------------------
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
--------------------
Customer Care Jokes
Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer : "Ok."
Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up
menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up
until
this point?"
Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote
'click'."
----------------------------------------
Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still
getting
the same error message."
Tech Support : "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
--------------------------------------------------
Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."
Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it
says."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery
disk'."
Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer : "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."
--------------------------------------------------
Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)
--------------------------------------------------
Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen,
canyou see
the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Tech support : ##### ***
--------------------------------------------------
Tech Support : "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer : "A white one."
Tech support : ******_____####
--------------------------------------------------
Customer : "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal
abortion."
Tech support : ??????
--------------------------------------------------
Customer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."
Tech Support : ?!%#$
--------------------------------------------------
Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"
Tech support : ??????
--------------------------------------------------
Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to
print
document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support : "What does it say?"
Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy
inside?"
Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel
inside."
Tech support : @@@@@
--------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open
24
hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
--------------------------------------------------
Tech Support : "What does the screen say now?"
Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support : "Well?"
Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"
Tech support : *** ---- ++++
--------------------------------------------------
hahaha just enjoy
Customer : "Ok."
Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up
menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up
until
this point?"
Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote
'click'."
----------------------------------------
Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still
getting
the same error message."
Tech Support : "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
--------------------------------------------------
Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."
Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it
says."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery
disk'."
Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer : "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."
--------------------------------------------------
Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)
--------------------------------------------------
Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen,
canyou see
the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Tech support : ##### ***
--------------------------------------------------
Tech Support : "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer : "A white one."
Tech support : ******_____####
--------------------------------------------------
Customer : "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal
abortion."
Tech support : ??????
--------------------------------------------------
Customer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."
Tech Support : ?!%#$
--------------------------------------------------
Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"
Tech support : ??????
--------------------------------------------------
Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to
document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support : "What does it say?"
Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy
inside?"
Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel
inside."
Tech support : @@@@@
--------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open
24
hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
--------------------------------------------------
Tech Support : "What does the screen say now?"
Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support : "Well?"
Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"
Tech support : *** ---- ++++
--------------------------------------------------
hahaha just enjoy
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Nice email i got
Nice one
Once a man was waiting for a taxi.
A beggar came along and asked him for some money. The man ignored him.
But being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him. The man
became irritated when he realized that the beggar would not leave him
alone unless he parts with some money.
Suddenly an idea struck him.He told the beggar, "I do not have money, but
if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help
you." "I would have bought a cup of tea", replied the beggar.
The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea". He
then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the
beggar.
The beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious to health."
The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told the
beggar, "Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is really good".
The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol muddles the brain and damages the
liver".
The man smiled again. He told the beggar, "I am going to the race
course.Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place
bets. If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone".
As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, "Sorry
sir, I can't come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit."
Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come to his home
with him. Finally, the beggar's face lit up in anticipation of receiving
at least something from the man. But he still had his doubts and asked the
man, "Why do you want me to go to your house with you".
Once a man was waiting for a taxi.
A beggar came along and asked him for some money. The man ignored him.
But being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him. The man
became irritated when he realized that the beggar would not leave him
alone unless he parts with some money.
Suddenly an idea struck him.He told the beggar, "I do not have money, but
if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help
you." "I would have bought a cup of tea", replied the beggar.
The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea". He
then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the
beggar.
The beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious to health."
The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told the
beggar, "Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is really good".
The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol muddles the brain and damages the
liver".
The man smiled again. He told the beggar, "I am going to the race
course.Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place
bets. If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone".
As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, "Sorry
sir, I can't come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit."
Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come to his home
with him. Finally, the beggar's face lit up in anticipation of receiving
at least something from the man. But he still had his doubts and asked the
man, "Why do you want me to go to your house with you".
The man replied, "My wife always wanted to see how a man with no bad
habits looks like."
hehehe
Friday, April 10, 2009
Nice Teacher Student joke
Teacher :What happened in 1869?
Student:Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1873?
Student:Gandhiji was four years old.
----------
Question:What is the fullform of maths.
Anwser:Mentaly affected teachers harrasing students
----------
Teacher :Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student:A holiday
----------
Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.
Raju:No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher :Why?
Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!
----------
Teacher:"Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence?"
Johnny:"Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time."
----------
Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny:As old as I am.
Teacher:How is it possible?
Sunny:He became father only after I was born.
----------
Teacher:There is a frog,Ship is sinking,potatoes cost Rs 3/kg .Then,what is my age?
STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher:How do you know?
STUDENT:Well,my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.
----------
Teacher: Where does God live?
Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, 'God, are you still in there?'
----------
Teacher:"What is your name?".
Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask aquestion in english,answer it in english."
Student:"My name is Sunlight."
----------
Student:Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1873?
Student:Gandhiji was four years old.
----------
Question:What is the fullform of maths.
Anwser:Mentaly affected teachers harrasing students
----------
Teacher :Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student:A holiday
----------
Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.
Raju:No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher :Why?
Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!
----------
Teacher:"Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence?"
Johnny:"Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time."
----------
Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny:As old as I am.
Teacher:How is it possible?
Sunny:He became father only after I was born.
----------
Teacher:There is a frog,Ship is sinking,potatoes cost Rs 3/kg .Then,what is my age?
STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher:How do you know?
STUDENT:Well,my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.
----------
Teacher: Where does God live?
Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, 'God, are you still in there?'
----------
Teacher:"What is your name?".
Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask aquestion in english,answer it in english."
Student:"My name is Sunlight."
----------
email i got
Another email i got Nice one....
A boy and a girl were in love.
When the girl's father came to know
about their love, he did not like it at
all, and so began to protest about it.
Now it happened that the two lovers
decided to leave their homes for a happy
future.
The girl's father started searching for
the two lovers but could not find
them .
At! last, he accepted their love and
asked them to come back home thru a
local newspaper. Her father said "If
you both come back I will allow you to marry the
guy you love, I accept that you loved
each other truly."
So in this way, their love won and they
returned home.
The couple next day went to town to shop
for the wedding dress. He was dressed
in a white shirt that day. While he w! as
crossing th e road to the other side to
get some drinks for his wife, a car
came and hit him and he died on the spot.
The girl was devastated and lost her
senses. It was only after sometime that
she recovered from her shock.
The funeral and cremation was the very
next day because he had died horribly.
Two nights later, the girl's mother had
a dream in which she saw an old lady.
The old lady asked her m! other to wash the blood
stains of the guy from her daughter's
dress as soon as possible. But her
mother ignored the dream.
The next night her father had the same
dream , he also ignored it. Then the
girl had the same dream the next night, she
woke up in fear and told her mother
about the dream. Her mother asked her
to wash the clothes with the blood
stains
immediately.
She washed the stains but some remained.
Next night she again had the same
dream. She again washed the stains but some
still remained. But again the next
night she had the same dream and this
time the old lady gave her a last
warning to wash the blood stain, or
else something terrible would happen.
This time the girl tried her best to
wash the stains, and the clothes
nearly to! re, but some stains still remained.
She was very tired.
In the late evening the same day while
she was alone at home, someone knocked
on the door. When she opened the door
she saw the same old lady of her dream
standing at her door. She got very
scared and fainted.
The old lady woke her up... and gave her
a blue object, which shocked the girl.
She asked "What is! this...?" The old
lady replied...
..
.. .
..
..
..
..
..
"This is Nirma Washing Powder"
"Washing powder nirma,Washing powder
nirma
Doodh si safedi nirma se aaye,
Rangeen kapde bhi khil khil jaye,
sabki pasand nirma
Washing powder nirma,Washing powder
nirma.Nirma"
10 ka 1, do pe ek free
I know how you all are feeling now...
I have been through this too.
I'm also hunting for the idiot who mailed this to me
hahaha
A boy and a girl were in love.
When the girl's father came to know
about their love, he did not like it at
all, and so began to protest about it.
Now it happened that the two lovers
decided to leave their homes for a happy
future.
The girl's father started searching for
the two lovers but could not find
them .
At! last, he accepted their love and
asked them to come back home thru a
local newspaper. Her father said "If
you both come back I will allow you to marry the
guy you love, I accept that you loved
each other truly."
So in this way, their love won and they
returned home.
The couple next day went to town to shop
for the wedding dress. He was dressed
in a white shirt that day. While he w! as
crossing th e road to the other side to
get some drinks for his wife, a car
came and hit him and he died on the spot.
The girl was devastated and lost her
senses. It was only after sometime that
she recovered from her shock.
The funeral and cremation was the very
next day because he had died horribly.
Two nights later, the girl's mother had
a dream in which she saw an old lady.
The old lady asked her m! other to wash the blood
stains of the guy from her daughter's
dress as soon as possible. But her
mother ignored the dream.
The next night her father had the same
dream , he also ignored it. Then the
girl had the same dream the next night, she
woke up in fear and told her mother
about the dream. Her mother asked her
to wash the clothes with the blood
stains
immediately.
She washed the stains but some remained.
Next night she again had the same
dream. She again washed the stains but some
still remained. But again the next
night she had the same dream and this
time the old lady gave her a last
warning to wash the blood stain, or
else something terrible would happen.
This time the girl tried her best to
wash the stains, and the clothes
nearly to! re, but some stains still remained.
She was very tired.
In the late evening the same day while
she was alone at home, someone knocked
on the door. When she opened the door
she saw the same old lady of her dream
standing at her door. She got very
scared and fainted.
The old lady woke her up... and gave her
a blue object, which shocked the girl.
She asked "What is! this...?" The old
lady replied...
..
.. .
..
..
..
..
..
"This is Nirma Washing Powder"
"Washing powder nirma,Washing powder
nirma
Doodh si safedi nirma se aaye,
Rangeen kapde bhi khil khil jaye,
sabki pasand nirma
Washing powder nirma,Washing powder
nirma.Nirma"
10 ka 1, do pe ek free
I know how you all are feeling now...
I have been through this too.
I'm also hunting for the idiot who mailed this to me
hahaha
A cool email i got
A nice funny email i got even when i read now i can laugh .... nice one.
Just for fun
Specially for the bachelors who are going to marry
one person after Marriage wrote to Microsoft Technical support,
Dear Microsoft Technical Support,
I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began giving unexpected errors and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources. This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Boys Night Out 2.5, and Cricket 5.3 no longer run and crash the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate Saturday Sports Bar 6.3 always fails but Saturday Shopping 7.1 runs instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend7.0 but uninstall doesn't work on this program.
With regards,
....................
THE REPLY: -
This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Whereas Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its creator to run everything. You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0 as Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the system once installed. Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See in manual under alimony Support and Solicitors Fees). Having Wife 1.0 installed myself I recommend you keep it installed and deal with the difficulties as best you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the C: \I APOLOGISE.bat program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-key. It may be necessary to run C:\ I APOLOGISE.bat a number of times but hopefully eventually the operating system will return to normal. Wife 1.0 although a very high maintenance program can be very rewarding. To get the most out of it consider buying additional software such as Flowers 2.0 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not under any circumstances install Secretary36.24.36(Short Skirt version) as this is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly crash. Thank you for using the program!!
PS: In no case try to install the free software (Mother-in-Law 1.0) that comes with WIFE 1.0 operating system. Installing the software would lead to Not Responding messages from Wife1.0 operating system.
Thanks & Regards,
Microsoft Tech Support.
hahaha....
:-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
Just for fun
Specially for the bachelors who are going to marry
one person after Marriage wrote to Microsoft Technical support,
Dear Microsoft Technical Support,
I am desperate for some help. I recently upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began giving unexpected errors and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources. This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure. In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Boys Night Out 2.5, and Cricket 5.3 no longer run and crash the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate Saturday Sports Bar 6.3 always fails but Saturday Shopping 7.1 runs instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend7.0 but uninstall doesn't work on this program.
With regards,
....................
THE REPLY: -
This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Whereas Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its creator to run everything. You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0 as Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the system once installed. Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or wife 2.0 but have ended up with even more problems. (See in manual under alimony Support and Solicitors Fees). Having Wife 1.0 installed myself I recommend you keep it installed and deal with the difficulties as best you can. When any faults or problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the C: \I APOLOGISE.bat program and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-key. It may be necessary to run C:\ I APOLOGISE.bat a number of times but hopefully eventually the operating system will return to normal. Wife 1.0 although a very high maintenance program can be very rewarding. To get the most out of it consider buying additional software such as Flowers 2.0 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not under any circumstances install Secretary36.24.36(Short Skirt version) as this is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and the system will almost certainly crash. Thank you for using the program!!
PS: In no case try to install the free software (Mother-in-Law 1.0) that comes with WIFE 1.0 operating system. Installing the software would lead to Not Responding messages from Wife1.0 operating system.
Thanks & Regards,
Microsoft Tech Support.
hahaha....
:-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Sardar jokes - just for laugh
2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.
----------
Sardar ji visits his Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Sardar ji goes 2 China 2 find meaning of his friends
last words.
It is `U R STANDNG ON D OXGN TUBE!”
----------
Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He
gave
Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.
----------
In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ….
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup…
----------
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu’s skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu’s skeleton when he was child
----------
Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all
India
Radio!
----------
Police :we’re going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Thief Sardar : Yes. (lie dectector blows up)
----------
Student Sardar: Me fail English!!!!! Thats Unpossible
----------
Patient Sardar: In my dreams monkey play football every night.
Doctor: Take this medicine from tonight.
Patient Sardar: Can I start from tomorrow because tonight is Final.
----------
Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue u’ve broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
---------
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.
----------
Sardar ji visits his Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Sardar ji goes 2 China 2 find meaning of his friends
last words.
It is `U R STANDNG ON D OXGN TUBE!”
----------
Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He
gave
Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.
----------
In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ….
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup…
----------
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu’s skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu’s skeleton when he was child
----------
Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all
India
Radio!
----------
Police :we’re going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Thief Sardar : Yes. (lie dectector blows up)
----------
Student Sardar: Me fail English!!!!! Thats Unpossible
----------
Patient Sardar: In my dreams monkey play football every night.
Doctor: Take this medicine from tonight.
Patient Sardar: Can I start from tomorrow because tonight is Final.
----------
Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue u’ve broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
---------
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