Nice SMS joke

I wanted to send u something nice that would make u smile but the postman told me to get out of the mailbox!
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im at the police station.The police caught me & filed a case against me "possession of good looks".i'm doomed! i need someone ugly 2 bail me out-so hurry up
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Those innocent eyes.. such a brain...A great smile...The perfect walk..Smoothest talk...Absolutely gorgeous...Thats enough about me..How are you?
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I wanted to tell you that I truly treasure our friendship- you mean a lot to me. You cry...I cry. You laugh..I laugh. You jump out of the window...I...I...I...look down and then I laugh again.
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When you feel lonely, Cheer up! Just go to the mirror and say "Shit! I'm really so cute!" You'll overcome your sadness. But don't make it a habit cause liars go to HELL!
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UR 100%beautiful UR 100%lovely UR 100%sweet? UR 100%nice??? and UR 100%stupid to believe these words!
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Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in?
that's how dogs spend their lives. 
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We will now upgrade your brain.......Please wait........Searching.......Searching.......Still searching........Sorry, no brain found !!!
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Your future depends on your dreams - So go to sleep!
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In the morning I do not eat because I think of you, at noon I do not eat because I think
of you, in the evening I do not eat because I think of you, at night I do not sleep because
I am hungry.
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Now Start sending to your friend........