Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Customer Care Jokes

Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer : "Ok."
Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up
menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up
until
this point?"
Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote
'click'."


----------------------------------------

Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still
getting
the same error message."
Tech Support : "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"


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Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."
Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it
says."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery
disk'."
Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer : "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."

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Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)

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Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen,
canyou see
the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Tech support : ##### ***

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 Tech Support : "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer : "A white one."
Tech support : ******_____####

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Customer : "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal
abortion."
Tech support : ??????

--------------------------------------------------

Customer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."
Tech Support : ?!%#$
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Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"
Tech support : ??????

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Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to
print
document, but the computer won't boot properly."

Tech Support : "What does it say?"

Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."

Tech Support : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy
inside?"

Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel
inside."

Tech support : @@@@@
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Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open
24
hours."

Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

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Tech Support : "What does the screen say now?"

Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."

Tech Support : "Well?"

Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"

Tech support : *** ---- ++++
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hahaha just enjoy

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